This was a blog post that I had written for a photography blog I had last year:
I commute to work by train everyday. In the mornings the commute is usually crowded and filled with conversation. There are a few women with whom I have become friendly and we can get a bit boisterous on our 20 minute ride, chatting. laughing, and calling to others we know on the train.
I commute to work by train everyday. In the mornings the commute is usually crowded and filled with conversation. There are a few women with whom I have become friendly and we can get a bit boisterous on our 20 minute ride, chatting. laughing, and calling to others we know on the train.
But in the evenings the train seems quite empty and silent. The morning women take different trains home and I notice that many of the people around me are tired, quiet, and introspective.
We all just slip into our seats and watch the darkness arrive.
I love the contrast between the bustling energy of your morning commute versus the perhaps lonelier evening rides. Even though you share how you and the other commuters may be different ("many of the people around me are tired, quiet, and introspective"), what you have in common is watching the sun be replaced by nightfall every day together.
ReplyDeleteLynn:
ReplyDeleteI love this post. It's Exhibit A for being able to tell a colorful story without many words. The imagery is fabulous - I can hear the noise on the morning train and feel the weary silence at day's end. I love that you noticed this and wrote about it in such a relatable way. Really great.
Dotty
Hi Lynn,
ReplyDeleteI was picturing my own city commute as I read your piece. You definitely created a scenario in a handful of words. However, I would love to see a little more imagery in your wording, especially since this was a photography class.
While we have been learning to be clear and concise, I still feel that using words that better show the situation could be helpful in this writing style!